People say that at the first last moment of your life, just that small fraction of time before you leave the world. You'll see flash backs since the very first breath you took. Every tiny events that took place would flash before your eyes at a rapid speed like a speeding movie. As each and every scene flies pass your eyes, you'll be able to determine your own value for life. Whether have you lived a fulfilled life, or not. Memories that a hidden at the back of your head and also things that you hoped to forget and remember would all flash between your eyes.

I wonder if it is true. Ever question what lies beyond the horizon when you die? Or have you leave yourself to the disposal of the fairytale of an afterlife in the heavens or hell? Have you ever stress yourself about dying the next day or the next moment?

To me, death is something I never truly understood. We have all heard tales of afterlife. But how do you which is real and which are not? The dead can't possibly tell you in the face what is gonna happen. Nor can you return from death to tell the tale of how the trip to heaven or hell went.

I choose to embrace death, at least at this very moment where my mind is calm. That curiosity of death gave me the strength to face death and understand that birth, old age, sickness and finally death are all part of life.

Well I must say, I have strayed far from what I wanted to talk about in the first place. I have my Primary School Report Book on my lap now, opened. (Who else here actually is as devoted to their Primary School as me?) I was reminded of a dear teacher that has left this world. A very dear teacher of mine, with memories and sadness deep within my conscious and heart. She is non other, my Primary 1 teacher, Ms Jenny Ong.

I remember her tender care and her understanding she gave. I was an extremely difficult guy to deal with. Active and naughty, nothing far from the me today, or rather much worst. I was very much outspoken back then, and was extremely talkative. So as to turn my fault into good use, she got to be a DJ for the monthly listening comprehension quiz over the radio system in the school. I made good use of that and gain much fame, or so I believe. Thinking back then, I remember that I use to go around telling people, "Hey! I'm the DJ for the Pop Com programme!" That was the kid I was back then. I never really remembered that clearly, only until a friend of mine told me that I actually did that before. I also remembered the ladies that sat along with me to carry out the programme. Sheridin, Esther, Shi Yun, Lin Xi. The activity always starts after recess, and during recess is when I would start running and bragging about that something so lame.

"Are you ready?! I can't hear you.." That were the first few words I would start with at every session. I remember we played songs over the system such as It's A Small World.


"It's A Small World" Lyrics

It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears
It’s a world of hopes, and a world of fears
There’s so much that we share that it’s time we’re aware
It’s a small world after all!

It’s a small world after all!
It’s a small world after all!
It’s a small world after all!
It’s a small, small world!

There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone
Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide
It’s a small world after all!

It’s a small world after all!
It’s a small world after all!
It’s a small world after all!
It’s a small, small world!

(c) Disney



Those times have been etched deeply in my mind even till now. I still can remember how vulnerable my noes was back then. Slight damage to it, could cause me to start a nose bleed. There was a time where my noes bleed nearly a cup of it. It was I think due to a head on knock onto some wall. My noes was that vulnerable because I had a soft sharp bone at the tip of my nose, which I can still feel it now, just that it is not as dangerous anymore.

I remember that on one occasion when we were walking to the school library, there was a girl's toilet to my right. We were playing around and the push my right in, I reacted quickly and came out. Another occasion where I 'visited' the girls toilet was during my CCA (Robotics) Session. I was walking blindly with something on my mind and end up walk straight into a girls toilet. Lucky there was no one in there. But some nosey-parker told the teacher-in-charge and he told me off for being so careless.

I still remember the jokes and fun times I used to have in that old school. The wonderful teachers and the horrible ones. The principal and vice-principal i dearly missed. The Disciplinary Master which I nearly got a few strokes from fighting in the public. The race I run and games I play during recess time. The chapteh, the soccer games, the hop-scotch times. They had all been great memories. The faces of valuable friends I had been with all the time.

There is one friend I greatly miss and greatly want to meet up with all these while. Kerby had been a talented and intelligent boy. However, he was at least 5times naughtier than me. Some how I always had the link with such people and after a small fight I had with him, one of the many I had with him, we became rather close friends. As our interests were very much the same. He was transferred to another class to be controlled as he was truly too naughty. If I am the famous one around the school, he is the most notorious one around. He was known to every student of my batch and teacher as the trouble-maker. I mean seriously, but he has a soft side in him, and I felt the need to change him with my own hands. To make him a better person then, and thus made friends with him.

He took the Gifted Programme test that I totally forgotten about back in P3. If had taken it, I might not have been in the current school I am in now. Nor with the current friends and lifestyle. He passed and left the school not long after that. Some how I lost contact with him as I couldn't get his number right for some crazy reason. I once called him up not long after he left, and on the phone I thought it was his voice. It was very similar. However that person denied he is. But the hitch is that he did not end the call, all he did was listen and respond to what I said. I wondered very much for that moment had Kerby actually changed or hypnotised to be some other person, or forced to forget this friend of his.

A few years later, I finally saw him, by accident though. I met him a the Food Junction at Lot 1. I didn't dare to walk up and ask it was really him. However I was pretty sure it had been him, as I could recognise his mother who came to pick him up every evening after playing with me at the playground around my void deck.

It had been a regret I might never forget. For I have totally lost contact with him.

Had the question for a coming essay been, "A Friend" or some thing similar. This might be the story to write and tell. The memories are fading of what we been through together, there's barely anything I could remembrance of to talk about though.

A Not So Short Description of Clarence's Early Years As A Student.